


Suburan Moms and Demons

by CuddlePossum



Category: Suburban Moms and Demons
Genre: Hello Mr. Johnson, Lewie is the worst kind of demon, Other, Suburban moms talking about demons, suburban moms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 09:17:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15946352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CuddlePossum/pseuds/CuddlePossum
Summary: Two Suburban moms complain about their friends in the trashiest way.Hello Mr. Johnson





	Suburan Moms and Demons

**Author's Note:**

> I did this because of Discord. Ravagers are amazing people.

Hellen sighed as she walked out onto her porch with a pitcher of ice cold martinis in one hand and a pair of martini glasses in the other. Betty smiled at Hellen as she watched the other woman fill up their glasses and pass it to her. “Did you hear about what happened to Angela?” Betty asked. “She broke up with Beezlethorp right?” Hellen asked, getting a nod in return, “She did, now her showers aren’t even pouring goat blood anymore, they’re having to take normal water showers!” Hellen gasped at the thought, only savages and...the poor showered with water!

Betty nodded at the obvious disgust in her friend’s face and took an obnoxious sip of her drink, “well anyway, I was talking to her the other day while we were getting our manicures” the bottle blonde with obvious roots nodded to the dagger-like steel claws affixed to her nails as she spoke, “and she said she was thinking of going out with Lewie, says she’s had too much of the mainstream demons, she’s clearly lost her mind. So, being the amazing friend I am, I tried to tell her that she should be dating Horace, and what does she do? throws a handful of fried beetles in my face!” Hellen nearly choked on her martini, “she what!? Eugh, who wastes a treat like fried beetles by throwing them at someone’s face?” “I know! So anyway, Horace is a tier two demon, but Lewie, what as he done with his life? nothing and you know I heard Cheryl say that he doesn’t even run over street signs and he hasn’t pulled a dine and dash in weeks!” “I think I’m going to be sick” Hellen gagged.

The pair exchanged huffs and sighs, words no longer enough to convey their distaste, even the shirtless, four-headed man, screaming in eternal agony from the constant white hot fire covering his body, wasn't enough to get more than a "Hello Mr. Johnson" from the pair.


End file.
